I know the fact that we may not be very close. We didn't even talk annually. But I guess this is the least I can do.
You just happen to be the wife of this uncle, the uncle that happens to be not my mom's favourite. Mom can't help it but to be closer to her favourite. We can't help it when we stay an hour plus away from each other. If there's any visiting, it'll always be us visiting on chinese new year.
But then, there are some small bits of memories about you. When I was a lot younger. It's like, we used to visit you a lot when I was younger. But what happened after that? Why did it stop?
I always remember when we visited Seremban, both you and uncle would be great hosts and bring us around. Not only that, every time uncle will made the visit even more fun when he bring us to the club. I can't remember exactly, but I remember I always enjoyed it a lot.
Then, I also remember those chinese new years that we spent in Kampar. Personally I don't quite understand why is it that other aunts think of you as the 38 lady. Like I used to say, filters are hard to find in a lot of people, that I'd admit. But you were at least honest to everyone. Not hypocrite. That alone I find that you are different from others.
But when I grew older, I noticed that we grew further apart. Just no more visits, and sometimes, we don't even meet on chinese new year.
That's life, it happens. People tend to grow further apart for unknown reasons.
The next bit I remembered was the talk we had last year. Surprisingly I don't know how it happened, but I'm glad we did.
I still remember in William's car, we talked about those times when I was a kid. How you said that we are closer to mom's sister compared to mom's brother. Mom brought us up to be entirely different from your kids. How you complained/bragged about our cousins. But from that talk alone, I can see a lot of similarities in you and mom. Cause, both of you are mothers. And you make a lot of sacrifices for everyone. And worries about everyone.
That was the time that I saw you withe the growth on your shoulder. It was very shocking to see growth with size almost half of a football. And yet, you can't stop worrying about others. Maybe I should have told you to worry about yourself and not others. But, too bad I didn't.
Months ago, you had the surgery to amputate your arm. The growth was no longer bearable. I knew if there was a better way, you would have taken it. But god knows you suffered enough from that growth, at least I think you had life a bit easier without it.
But your cancer can't help it but reoccur.
I guess, it's god's will to take you back. The very least is you had a good life and a loving family. Eventually no one can avoid being sick. And at the time that you are being so sick, you returned to god. I know it's for the better. God loves you more than anyone else. I know uncle and cousins will be able to take care of themselves. Don't worry.
Rest in peace. You will always be remembered dearly.
