Just kidding.
Okay. Fun time's over.
Yesterday was most probably one of the days where cloudy skies elude the people around me. You know, sometimes, there are people that you like and there are those that you don't. More like you are close to them or not. But these are the times that even if you are not related to them, or even if it means a stranger, I'm pretty sure you would feel the same.
Sad news arrived not too long ago, that she has lost her arm. I am not sure what is the real cause, but last I saw her, the infection/growth was almost as huge as a football.
I am not exaggerating.
When I saw her, it feels like she is really carrying the weight of the world on her shoulder. I am not anyone's mother, but I know, she is one hell of a good mother. Despite the fact that she is heavily ill, she could still take care of her family. And entertained us when we visited.
I was never close to her. To me, she is someone that I might meet once a year, and all I know is we have somethings in common. Never once that I thought we could have a heart to heart chat.
The chat, though it was brief, but I could tell, she has even more than she could share. To talk to her nephew in such manner, it meant that she really hasn't been talking to anyone lately. Is there no one else that could understand her? She talked to a nephew that she rarely sees. And of all, I was the youngest in the family. I couldn't possibly be anymore matured than anyone else in the family.
But she still chose to talk to me. Only to find me agreeing with her. Not the usual 'I agree because I have to', but this, I agree deep from within. I felt her pain, her worries, and her hope. But of all, I felt that she is very tired. Tired of everything. She was hoping for miracles to happen.
I have lived just 23 years but I know miracles are hard to come by. I don't usually do hope for miracles. But for her, I did. I did hope that the so called Chinese doctor would be able to cure her. So, she could be spared from the knife.
Fate is often cruel. This time, I don't feel like saying "I told you so". I just wanna turn back time. Hopefully to stop this fate, and to give her another chance to choose again.
But what's lost is lost. At least, the very least, she is still alive. Please be strong. I may not be the best person to give advise or to comfort, but I know, you have my support. And I'm sorry I couldn't help. I wish there's something that I could do.
